UNIVERSAL DONOR
REVIEWS THE WORLD
- opinions formed while-u-wait! -
 | |
| products |
| Gillette Fusion "shaving system" In January 2004, Gillette put a battery in the handle of its Mach 3 razor blade and released it as the M3 Power. It sounded like a stupid idea to me, and I'm not the only one who thought so. I found this prediction on the site of an "advisory services firm specializing in ... new product... creation." This company clearly consists of a solitary asshole who makes stupid-looking charts and then guesses which new products will be successful. He took one look at the concept of the M3 Power, and thought: "this is the same fucking razor they've been selling for years, except now it vibrates and costs 70% more. This product is doomed." Of course, he was totally wrong. It became the best-selling razor within a year. Constant and unnecessary tinkering has been a hallmark of consumer industries since the first time somebody put the words "New & Improved" on a box and sales jumped by 20%. But even in this context, the "innovations" developed every two years by Gillette seem like practical jokes calculated to piss us off by insulting our intelligence on a massive scale. But instead of saying "fuck you" and vowing to grow beards, we buy the new razor. Why do we do this? My theory: Razors are so boring, and the task they perform such an unpleasant necessity, that any change that delivers a consumer thrill -- no matter how retarded and/or potentially disfiguring -- is rapturously embraced by the American male. The thrill is everything. If you can think of a way to make toilet paper thrilling, you could retire within the year. I know this is true. Because despite everything I've ever said on this subject, I bought the 6-bladed Fusion after watching the ads for it during the Superbowl. I'm an asshole. And the shave, of course, is not noticeably different from any shave I've gotten in the last ten years. It's a good shave, but it's not ten dollars good. | |
| : . .3.1. : . . . : |
3/29/2006 • link •
| |
GO BACK TO THE MAIN PAGE
GENERIC RATING SCALE
SUGGESTIONS
Want me to review something? Use this box to make topic suggestions:
Recent Suggestions:
[shaving, nicotine patches, girlsarepretty.com]
LINKS
• Universal Donor
• UD's Book Reviews
• UD's Reference Page
• TopTen Reviews.com
|
PREVIOUS POSTS
• Cloud Atlas |
REVIEW
CATEGORIES
|
| rating | approximate meaning |
| 10.0 | Godlike perfection |
| 9.5 | Mortal perfection |
| 9.0 | Great! Classic! |
| 8.0 | Pretty awesome |
| 7.0 | Good stuff |
| 6.0 | Don't knock it 'til you try it |
| 5.0 | Exactly half good and half bad |
| 4.0 | If it's on sale... |
| 3.0 | Last resort |
| 2.0 | You might prefer root canal |
| 1.0 | Contact could lower your I.Q. |
| 0.0 | May cause cancer |
SUGGESTIONS
Want me to review something? Use this box to make topic suggestions:
Recent Suggestions:
[shaving, nicotine patches, girlsarepretty.com]
LINKS
• Universal Donor
• UD's Book Reviews
• UD's Reference Page
• TopTen Reviews.com
0 comments:
Post a Comment